Spiders
by CandyApple75
Summary: Regina is scared of spiders. One Shot in which Emma is called over to the mayor's house for something...odd. Total crack so please be nice!


**This is a crazy little one-shot that came to me through a combination of a sugar high, an inadequate amount of sleep and from watching a spider crawl under my bed. (Spider, if you're reading this, that shoe wasn't meant to hit you! Please don't crawl into my head while I sleep!)**

**Anyway, I still don't own anything and no one in their right mind would pay to read this fic.**

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

"Emma? Can you come over? I think my mom's having a breakdown or something," Henry said over the phone.

"Define breakdown," Emma replied, leaning back in her chair and placing her feet on her desk.

"She's locked herself in her bedroom and I keep hearing thumps and I think she screamed a few times.

Instantly, Emma's mind formulated a list of everything the mayor could be doing. She shook her head as she tried to get rid of the images that were now tattooed permanently onto the insides of her eyelids.

"I'll be over in a minute," Emma said. She hung up and grabbed her coat and keys.

* * *

Emma was let into the house by Henry who just said "She's still upstairs."

She braced herself and stalked up the stairs. She walked down the hallway towards the closed door at the end of it. Sure enough, she heard a loud thump and a shriek.

"Regina?" Emma asked as she knocked on the door. She heard another thump and was just about to bust down the door before realizing that she probably didn't want to see what was going on behind the door. Plus, Regina would have Emma's head if she dared to kick down her door. Another scream and her curiosity got the best of her. She fumbled in her pocket for her trusty paperclip and quickly managed to pick the lock on the door.

Emma swung the door open and was rather shocked at what she saw. Regina had her shoes in her hands and was scanning the room with wide, fearful eyes. She shrieked when she saw Emma and put a hand up to her chest.

"Sheriff Swan, what are you doing here?" she asked, trying to make her voice sound normal, which she succeeded in. It was the looking normal that she failed epically at. Her dark hair was all out of place, her face was flushed and she had her heels in her hands.

"I think I could ask you the same question. Henry called me over here. He said you were having a breakdown or-SHIT!" Emma yelled as she ducked the shoe that Regina whipped just inches from her head. "What the fuck?!"

"It was on the wall behind you. I have to kill it."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"It was on my pillow. I'm going to kill it." Regina's teeth were clenched and she was brandishing her other shoe like a sword.

All of a sudden, a tiny garden spider skittered across the carpet and Regina screamed. Emma was confused for a moment and then she saw the spider in the corner. She grinned a mischievous grin and stepped slowly closer to the arachnid.

"Don't you dare," Regina said, her voice trembling.

"Aw, come on Madame Mayor. It's just a little spider. It's kind of cute." Emma leaned down and picked up the spider in her cupped hands. She turned back to face Regina who was scrambling back into the wall. Emma advanced towards Regina until the little spider was inches away from the mayor's face.

Regina tilted her head back and screamed. At the sound, the spider jumped up and clung to Emma's cheek.

"Get it off me!" Emma shouted. Regina was doing some bizarre and almost scary combination of a laugh and a scream as Emma flailed about the room trying to knock the spider off her face.

Of course, Henry picked that very moment to come into the room. "Is everything okay in he…woah." He stood dumbfounded in the doorway for a minute watching his mothers scream and freak out over the spider on Emma's cheek. Neither of them paid him any attention and he wandered back downstairs to watch TV.

After a few minutes, Emma managed to knock the spider off her cheek. It fell to the carpet and Emma ground it under the heel of her boot until it was just a small black stain on the carpet.

"So," Emma asked, still a little out of breath. "You're scared of spiders?"

Regina nodded. "No idea why. They just have that effect on me." Then her voice steadied and she became the imposing mayor once again. "You understand that if someone was to find out about this, you would wish that you had never been born."

"Trust me Regina, I grew up in the foster system. I spent most of my life wishing that. It would take an awful lot to make it happen again." With that, Emma strode out of the room, deliberately scraping the excess spider guts off of her boots and onto the carpet.

Regina stared down at the stains and then noticed the spider that she had been trying to kill originally. It was still a garden spider, but it was a damn big one. It stopped at the stain and then started slowly advancing toward Regina's foot.

Regina shrieked and raced out of the room, slamming the door behind her. She could sleep in the guest bedroom from now on. And live with only one shoe thanks to the fact that the other one was still on her bedroom floor. She opened the door a crack, but the spider was still there.

There were only two things in the world that could send Regina Mills screaming. Her mother…and spiders.

* * *

**Yeah. Re-reading this makes me realize just how bad it is but hey, is there any better way to get over a fear of spiders then by giving it to your favorite character in a piece of fanfic? Actually, there probably is. Huh.**

**Anyway, I hope this gave you a little laugh, even if it is totally out of character. Please review! **

**Thanks Guys!**

**~Candy :)**


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